Call Me Azrael

It's sort of amazing that my brother had never been to a goth club before, considering that a) his favorite artists are Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus and Nick Cave and b) I'm his sister. But, then again, maybe it's not so amazing that he had never been to a goth club since he's one of those "prefers not to self-identify" types.

And so, we went to his first goth club last night. It was Ruin, held for the last time at Monte Cristo, which is right next to the old Bullock's Wilshire building/Southwestern Law School. We walked through the thin, upstairs maze leading to the door, entered the spacious, red-lit club with the cool view of Wilshire Blvd., and then headed out to the patio, which was filled with art and goths.

Henceforth, I was supposed to refer to my brother as Azrael. I think he said that as a joke, but you don't joke with me like that because I will proceed to call you Azrael while howling with laughter for the rest of my life.

I told him that my nome de goth was Lucretia, or maybe Lucrezia. It was bestowed upon me by a friend and only used in conversation a few times, somewhere between such catchphrases as "I'm just a cold, dark candle in the cruel, white world" and "I'm so goth, I shit cobwebs."

"As in 'My Reflection?'" he asked, referencing a Sisters of Mercy song.

"Kinda, but more like Borgia," I answered.

"That's good," he said, setting up the Sisters' punchline. "I don't really want to dance the ghost with you."

Azrael was feeling out of place because he is actually quite a conservative dude and was dressed in a black polo shirt and pants that were probably made by Ralph Lauren. I told him the he should have worn that poet shirt he has from an old Halloween costume and maybe those tights left over from a college skit.

"The tights ripped," he said.

"Too bad, that would have been resplendent."

Resplendent is an inside joke for us, stemming from the episode of King of the Hill where Bobby joins a coven headed by a character voiced by David Cross. I'm kind of surprised that neither one of us managed to work the term "dog quaffer" into a sentence.

"So, does this place get more jumpin' later on?" Azrael asked me.

"It's a goth club, I don't think jumpin' is the appropriate word."

"Okay, does it get more angst-filled?"

"Yes, yes it does."

Back inside, Azrael observed the dance floor, where ten or so people were spinning around to The Knife.

"You know, if the dance floor got packed, someone could lose an eye," he said.

"I think I've seen that happen before." Okay, maybe not an eye, but definitely a sense of balance and articles of clothing.

And so we retreated to the patio once again, where the members of Flow Temple were dancing with fire. I took a few photos.











As Azrael learned that night, goth clubs can be fun. You've got costumed patrons, fire dancers, good music (for the most part, at least). But in order to enjoy ye olde goth club, you have to keep a sense of humor, otherwise your experience won't be so resplendent.