The Quest for Finger Food

Did you know that San Jose is actually more populous than San Francisco? Es verdad.

Maybe we would have had a different impression of San Jose if we were staying in one of the hotels by the museums and nightclubs, but, no, I had to be cheap and pick a Howard Johnson's outpost based on it's tagline as Downtown hotel. I was thinking, tiny motel in the middle of everything. Instead we got a motel in what looked more like a meth-addled suburb. Oh, this block of San Jose turf had Cops scrawled all over it. In fact, we saw what appeared to be the beginning stages of a sting operation at the hotel next door. I should have taken a picture.

But there was one highlight of our location. Thanks to Yelp, we learned that the Wendy's establishment one block over from our digs is *the* Wendy's, as in the one where a lady claimed to find a finger in a bowl of chili. As it turned out, she actually planted the finger in the chili, but that doesn't make this spot any less heinous.

This particular Wendy's is about as classy an establishment as you can imagine for the setting of such a notorious tale.  Frankly, I think that even we were surprised by the amount of prison tattoos visible inside the fast food joint at 11:30 a.m. (and, as Carlos said, that was just the women).  This too, I should add, is an observation coming from two people who have in fact eaten, or tried to eat, at the TV Cafe in Downtown Los Angeles.

We stood in line casually, trying not to obviously stare at the haphazard spiderweb pattern creeping up the neck of an older lady.  Then Carlos placed our orders, perhaps because subconsciously, we were thinking about making the chili a punchline.  When Carlos ordered and the clerk turned around, I whispered, "hold the fingers."

Carlos thinks I whispered a little too loudly.  It's probable.  After all, loud whispers are an Armenian trait.

We watched and, fortunately, nobody spat in the food.

Surprisingly, Wendy's chili isn't bad.  And it's even better if you don't add a finger to the mixture.